Clapham Personal Training: Dealing with the fear of rejection and failure

Posted by Ben Simpkins on June 6, 2016

This is a subject that has helped me grow as a person, as a friend and as a business owner, and whether you are reading this for your health and fitness, you are looking to build a strong mentality or you have just stumbled across this. Finding a way to deal with rejection and failure is massive.

We all fail, the greatest men and women in history have failed at something, but they used it as a way to grow and move forward as a better person, all too often people use them as a reason to play a victim or worse, the fear of failure and rejection stops people from even taking action!

People who know me from an early age will tell you I was a very shy child, and growing up and developing depression did not help when it came to thinking about what other people thought about me. I was stuck and I couldn’t answer questions in school out of the pure fear of being judged, and getting things wrong.

I am sure some of you are having this now with your health and fitness goals, you are worried about what people will say if you don’t change your body, the thought of someone popping up on facebook with a comment, the fear of what people are saying about you at work, trust me I know how horrible that feeling is, but please, think about this.

How many of these people are going to be at your funeral? I mean realistically how many of these people are you going to be talking to in 5 years?

Just think about it.

Now I took this lesson from Tony Robbins and I remember the day I read this, how much it helped me just let go of a lot of fear and he also dropped another truth bomb which I will come onto.

Most of the people I was concerned about, the people who scared me the most about taking action and stepping out of my comfort zone I barely knew. I couldn’t tell you if they were single, what they did for a job before I met them, if they were in a relationship or when their birthday was. The same thing with people who I used to hang about with, the second they were out of my friendship group or work team, I never spoke to them. Think about how many people are in your life right now doing the same thing?

The people who you worry about and think will judge you, are the people you will not see in 5 years’ time, do not let them hold you back.

Now going back to the other bit Tony mentioned was this, when he was faced with a failure he made a comment to himself, in his head but he asked “what is great about this situation?” and he states 9/10 times you will make a stupid funny response and it will get you out of your slump because I used to dwell on any failure for days, weeks or months. What could I have done better, why did I fail and other negative put-downs I used to run through my head. But this broke that chain.

He was right, you come up with some stupid scenario as to why failure is good and you move on, use it as a learning curve, and you go again. It is simple.

Try these 2 tips out and see yourself grow, take more risks and learn from what you need to do to achieve your goals, either in health and fitness, business/career or with family. I also cannot stress enough the benefits of reading self-help books, you may think they are cheesy and silly but if you really want to enjoy life, achieve more and learn to love yourself they are an absolute must and if you need any inspiration on where to get started please just ask away!

I will leave you with my favourite quote that I now live by and I follow every single day. Please think about this;

To dare is to do.

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