Are you asking the right questions?

Posted by Ben Simpkins on September 15, 2016

It has been a little while since we looked at how to improve your mindset so the next couple of posts will be based on that, just to break up the constant fitness and nutrition bits I have been putting out there. This post is going to be based on you taking a look at what questions you are asking and I don’t mean “ What’s for lunch” although that is a good question, I mean in the other big areas of your life.

When it comes to your job, your relationship(s), your confidence, your reaction to an event. Many things happen daily that cause us to ask questions, and if we are asking the wrong questions then you are going to get the wrong answer, and when you get the wrong answers you won’t be able to have the impact on your life and others that could truly make a difference.

I will give one example and let’s go to what is an issue for a lot of people, relationships. If you are unhappy with your partner what is the usual questions that go through your head?

– Why are they like this
-Why don’t they care about what I think
-What has changed for me to deserve this

These are just a few questions that could pop up in a relationship and if you are asking yourself these questions, you can be sure you will be acting differently around your loved one and this will create a tension and arguments.

Now if you ask different questions about the same subject, you come to a different place and you can make a change.

-What can I do to stop them feeling like that
-How do I get my point across better
-What has brought on their change of behaviour

Try to look at how you can impact other people, it will reduce the chances of you becoming stressed or worse angry. When you get angry you will make rash decisions and nothing barely comes good when you make a decision while angry.

I am aware it is easier said than done and all relationships are different but this is just an example of how to ask a different question in the same situation, you need to look at things differently and see how you can help rather than just going on the defensive. As Tony Robbins states “where focus goes, energy flows”, make sure you are putting your energy and focus in the right areas of your life.

And just to be clear I am not saying that if things are not working out in your relationship or job or where ever you are unhappy to just stick it out, but if you have tried looking at things differently and have asked other questions then move on. Find a happy place, find a new job, a new home, a new partner or a new gym! Whatever you need to change, do it! Life is too short to be unhappy but if you are unhappy more often than not, look at asking different questions.

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